There are things I have learned about myself, recently. Things that have been true for a very long time, but which it took time for me to process as a part of my identity.
Why does it take so long for me to connect my reality with its implication?
Perhaps it is simply another way in which my brain gets stuck.
But I think there are two other reasons. Both are a kind of internalized prejudice.
One has to do with social norms, with stereotypes and stigmatization and fear and contempt. If these traits are part of my identity, then I am Like Them, and They Are Different and They are Bad and I am Not Like Them.
The other is an internalization of the refusal to respect marginalized people’s self-definition and self determination. If Those People cannot define themselves, and I cannot define myself, then I certainly cannot define myself as One of Them.